this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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