do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
where are you?
Hypothermia
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
