She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
