how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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