Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
