i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
