i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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