How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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