I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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