Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
