I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
