yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Pants are for mortals
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
