There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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