Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
