shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
