I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize