I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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