tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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