guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
