You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
