I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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