please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
