i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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