Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
