What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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