I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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