I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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Semen is not good for contacts.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
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Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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