capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
