What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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