I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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