Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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