Well douche your snatch and let's go!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
