At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
