Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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