maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
