I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
