Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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