oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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