Got a toothbrush?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
