I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
