I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize