I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
