my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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