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I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I have tasted many bathrooms
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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