Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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