Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
