is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize