so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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