he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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