he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
