I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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