There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I bet he comes in French.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
