I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
