So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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