at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
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Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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