People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
