And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize