i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
