Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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