Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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