omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
