you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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