question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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