Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
