...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
